Gin Lane
“Drunk for 1d. Dead drunk for 2d. Clean straw for nothing.”
Between one and two of the morning the Earth suffered a shivering Fit in the north Part of Hockley-in-the-Hole, most sensible in the Cold Bath Square. It was accompanied with great Noises under Ground. The first Fit shook Shutters about the Square and was heard as far as the New River Head Water Works. Dust and Earth thrown up by the Convulsion fell on the Streets and Roofs round about. Some People ran into the Streets and others flung up their Windows the better to question their Neighbours about what was to do. Then came a second and stronger Fit with a violent Vibration and and great Roaring whereby Ruptures in the Earth belched Dust, Smoak and a sulphurous Smell. People gathered at the gates of the Cold Bath believing the Building to be flung down, but fled at a third and final Fit when the Earth exhaled a thick dank Miasma which it breathed straight up into the Night as a Tower of Smoak pierc’d through with Thunderbolts. The strong Winds of late being blowing, the Smoak quickly fell down and filled the Streets with a Fog which none might penetrate during much of the Hour.
From Mr Bamber Byron, in concern of the latter Part of December, 1736.
A Break In
Mr. Darkin caught me unawares.
It swiftly became clear that this was also the Intention of Others, as he brought me his Intelligence. On his Way to Kent’s Penny University, he overheard one Ruffian in speech to Another saying: “Now Byron is in Kent’s we may do it, Brother Plasterer!”
Wasting no Time in further Discussion, I made Post-Haste for my Apartment, accompanied by Mr. Samuel Darkin and joined shortly by Mr. Julian Arrows, who was unavoidably detained for some Minutes in settling his Bill.
Determined to catch the Blackguards about their unlawful Business, we brooked no Delays, but mounted directly to the Landing outside my Rooms. Pausing only to affirm that Thieves were within, we burst in upon them led by Samuel, who by dint of his Experience of writing for Journals was best fitted to listening at Keyholes.
One of the Miscreants was laid low immediately, while two Others, not benefitting from Samuel’s immediate full Attention, blasphemed wildly and fought each Other to return to my Bed Chamber from which they had just emerged. Believing them to be trapped, we made to secure our Advantage and pressed hard on their Heels. To my surprise, however, despite the Elevation, one and then the Other seized the Top of the Windows Frame and swung themselves out into the Void!
Immediately thereafter, they stood swaying with Heads and upper Torsos still visible outside the Frame. Inferring the presence of a Cradle suspended from above, while Samuel sought to impede them as best he may through the Window, I leapt once more to the Stairwell and ascended above, leaving my Rooms in the temporary Possession of Messrs Arrows and Darkin.
The intervening Floor yielded nothing of Interest, but the Garret proved to be the Scene of wicked Preparations: a sturdy Trestle weighted with Bags of Sand bore a Pulley, through which as I watched the Rope departed. The Cradle was indeed suspended from above, but controlled from below by means of the Pulley.
Cursing my Fortune, I returned below to hear that Mr. Darkin had seen a handful of Burglars depart swiftly and in good Order, including in their Number One in ceremonial Robes, who had not approached the Apartment. Making the best of our Situation, we turned to the Intruder abandoned by his Confrères, and depriving him of the Amulet he had dropped nervelessly, we put him to the Question.
He seemed in considerable Fear of the Consequences that would be visited upon him if he should talk to us, but the necessity of considering his present Position more sharply than his future Prospects was swiftly borne in upon him. His initial Claims to be a common Burglar straightway given the Lie by pointing out that neither Apron nor Amulet were generally considered essential Tools of that Trade, he admitted that he and his Brothers had been seeking a “true stone” which they believed to be in my Possession, and with which they wished to complete the reconstruction of their Temple. The Amulet would aid in its identification.
Pressed further, he revealed that the Temple was at the bath in Cold Bath Square, with Boards being laid across the cold plunge Pool to form the Floor, at Times when the Public were not admitted. He divulged also that a Meeting was to take Place on the Fourth day of January, and yielded the Pass-Phrase to be used upon that Occasion, with the further Intelligence that senior Members of the Brotherhood attending might frequently hide their Faces.
Mr. Arrows induced him to forget all that had befallen him, and he was abandoned without Effects where it might be assumed that he had fallen foul of Mother Genever’s Charms.
A Robbery
With such Knowledge as we had gleaned from the Burglar, we were determined that more must be discovered as to the goings-on at Cold Bath Square.
A thorough investigation revealed no “True Stone” to be found among my Possessions, but Mr. Darkin expended the better part of a Month’s Expenses and attended the Baths as a Patron. Given the Season, the cold Plunge itself was not available; whether because the Ice covering it was too thick to be broken, or because the Pool was drained completely, it was impossible to tell. Sundry other Means of being cleansed and invigorated were, however, in operation, of which Mr. Darkin took full advantage, observing his Surroundings the while.
The Cold Bath building is of an approximate L-Shape, set in a capacious Coach Park intended for the benefit of its wealthy Patrons. Baths occupy the Ground Floor, while above is a Gallery for the Curious, and other Rooms of unknown Purpose. Masonic embellishments are frequent. There is a Watch House hard by.
Meanwhile, Mr. Arrows sought to discover news of the Temple’s building, as the Bath House is of recent construction. In this he was fortunate to be acquainted with Someone who in turn knew Another, who in his turn… and so on, until a Name of a Builder was given.
Having arranged to meet this Fellow, upon doing so Mr. Arrows was heartened to be offered the Opportunity to peruse some Plans the following Day. Flushed with this Success, Mr. Arrows also chose to visit the Baths, in a Manner requiring less Liquidity. In this way he was able to confirm some of Mr. Darkin’s Observations, and furthermore to determine how the Baths might be entered discreetly.
The Builder was an affable Fellow given to loquaciousness, and had told of significant Difficulty in meeting the most unusually particular Requirements of the Architect, a Charles Martin. Mr. Arrows, accordingly, was eager to view the Plans and next Day awaited impatiently the arrival of the Builder at the Cock and Bull.
By way of Precaution, Mr. Darkin and I awaited outside in a Carriage, and well it is we did, for the Fellow arrived accompanied by two large Gentlemen of ominous Bearing, the Pair pausing Outside for a Moment before appearing to enter separately.
Foreseeing that some ill might befall Mr. Arrows if he were to remain unaccompanied, I also entered and sat at a different Table. At first it seemed all was well, and the Plans were produced and consulted; but of a sudden, Mr. Arrows had the Misfortune to drop a Quantity of his Tobacco directly into the Other’s Drink.
At this it became plain that our Informant had merely awaited some such Excuse to cause Trouble, for he leapt immediately to his Feet claiming that Mr. Arrows was attempting to Poison him, before feigning his collapse Face first upon the Table. Taken aback, Mr. Arrows naturally leaned away, and as he did so his Hand fell upon the Plans.
The Builder’s Companions were not slow to take his Part, and they bore in upon the Corner in which Mr. Arrows began to look trapped. Deciding that the Time was come for intervention, I drew my Sword and hinted none-too-subtly to the nearer Ruffian that he should desist before it came to Blows.
Taking the Initiative, Mr. Arrows seized the Plans, stepped lightly to one Side, and in a Trice had passed the Ruffian, myself and the Threshold, and was gone.
Thinking quickly, I apologised swiftly for my Hastiness, joined in the Cries of “Stop, Thief!”, and was first to reach the Door. Most unfortunately, somewhat of a Tussle ensued, as all tried to exit at once through a Gap intended for one, and by the Time we emerged onto the Street, little Sign of Mr. Arrows remained. Catching a swift glimpse of his Heel, I set forth in the opposite Direction, crying “Stop, Thief!” as I went. Some Distance onward, being little followed but sure that I had done enough to lead the Chase astray, I was overtaken by the Carriage and joined Mr. Darkin within.
To follow: Hot Work at the Cold Baths
A Communication from the Revd. Charles Blackwood.
The Under Crypt of the Cold Bath
If it pleases the learned Gentlemen of the Society, I have penned this Account of the Happenings around the Subterranean Explosions on January 1st 1737 in the northern Part of Hockley-in-the-Hole.
Preaching my Way through the Denizens of Rose Street throughout the Joyous Days of Advent I found myself sobering up and thawing out a Coffee in Kent’s. Having broken one of the Water Heaters while trying to serve myself I sought the Company of the early Morning Fellows of whom included Mr Bamber Byron, Mr Samuel Darkin and the young Mr Julian Arrows, whereby I learned of the goings on at the White City. I found myself irrevocably drawn into the Cause of bringing down an Establishment purportedly commissioned by the so called Masonic Order, those heavy handed Theologians… Protestantism by Force… It’s an ab-oration, but I digress.
I shall spare you all from the Detail of the Plan that led myself and those three resolute Members of the Society into the under-Crypt beneath the new Bath House at Cold Bath Square. What we found bore a truly ominous Portent for other Houses of the same and recent Construction in both Material and Workmanship.
It would appear that the Masonic Order have been responsible for the Construction of an enormous Philosophical Device, perhaps so warded as to become a Prison for their Summonings. We can grasp from our Investigations that their nefarious Intent was to use this Device to somehow animate a full Company of Stone ‘Golems’. A Workshop adjacent to the Device capable of holding some Gross of ‘Golems’ was almost fully completed, the Workshop packed tight with ‘Golems’ awaiting some unholy Ceremony and their ungodly awakening.
Our Suspicions were that the ‘Golems’ could be used for the furthering of the illegal Profits from Old Mother Gin. Quite how this was to be done is something of a Quandary, as not having been able to assess the full Potential of these ‘Golems’ we had little Time to examine them beyond a rudimentary Fashion.
Upon being disturbed by the unfortunately numerous Night Watch present in the Bath House we were forced to cease our Investigations due in no small Part to the fact that the Guards were also extremely well armed. That of at least 2 Blunderbuss and several Pistols. They fired with little regard for personal Safety in such close Confines. Clearly they were foolhardy Fellows to say the very least. If it be by all the Good Graces all those present and in the employ of the Designers of this Abomination would have been swept up and collected by these Explosions, then so much the Better.
For those of a Philosophical leaning it may be of Interest to include here a Facet of the indiscriminate incoming Fire we were forced to endure. The outer Walls of the storage Device seemed to yield to the Touch of the Buckshot and a white Light dripped from there as if like Blood from a Wound.
Three Casks of Black Powder had been transported within the Bath House, one of which was used to create our hasty Retreat from the ‘Golem Workshop’. Had it not been for the stalwart Philosophical Intervention of young Mr Julian Arrows and Mr Bamber Byron this Report could have been a speculatory Note inquiring after the whereabouts of four departed Members of the Society. The second and third Casks we had initially reserved for damaging the bath house proper were now used to destroy that which we reasoned the Masonic Order prized more dearly. That of the carved ‘Golems’. It would delay their Plans most fairly. Upon exiting our newly created Hole into the Grounds of the Bath House, our intrepid Artilleryman Mr Samuel Darkin, lit the Fuses on the remaining Barrels. We retired to the inner curtain Wall of the Courtyard to await the resultant Explosion having planned to make our Escape in the predicted Confusion.
We were not sure if we would be discovered in the Chaos and Confusion we had caused. Once again Messrs. Arrows & Byron came to our Aid with a Summoning most timely and all encompassing as to make our escape over the Wall and away to Kent’s all the simpler.
Questions remain unanswered for the meantime; is this the only Masonic commissioned Building to be created for this ‘Golem’ purpose? Could its Construction and Purpose be replicated elsewhere in our Glorious City? The full Purpose of said ‘Golems’ for the meantime remains that of Speculation. The Circumstances would suggest the infiltration of the Masonic Order be a high Priority until the full Threat can be determined. I remain at the disposal of the Society and would Welcome such an Opportunity to bring about the End of this bunch of Charlatans, these so called Masonic Orders.
Your dutifully &c &c &c
Revd. Charles Blackwood.
Mr Byron concludes his report
Hot Work at the Cold Baths
Joined by the Reverend Blackwood, and with Intelligence from various Sources, we were able to determine that the Cold Baths were built above a Labyrinth of Tunnels, and that the Plunge Pool was not sunk into the Earth but had been built free-standing. The Builder’s Plans did not provide extensive Detail, but were enough to suggest that the Plunge Pool, though not central when viewed from above Ground, in fact lay at the Heart of a great Seal of Solomon formed by Tunnels lying underneath the Building and its Grounds.
Some Debate ensued as to whether it were better to take advantage of knowing the pass-phrase for the meeting on January 5th, or to investigate the Building more thoroughly beforehand. The latter Argument prevailed, being seen as the more sure of Success. By way of Precaution, we agreed to go equipped with Kegs of Powder suitable for blasting, in case an Opportunity unrepeatable should present itself.
Mr. Arrows, being the most slight among us and hence most easily concealed made his way to the Baths by Daylight on the last Day of the Old Year, with the intention of remaining there privily after the Public had departed.
Sometime later with Darkness fallen, we made to follow and, having taken Note of the wWtch’s routine Patrol and taken Care to avoid unnecessarily troubling them, we crossed over the Wall surrounding the Bath House Grounds and located the shuttered Window where Mr. Arrows’ Mouchoirs indicated that we should attempt entry.
Cautioning us to Silence, Mr. Arrows led us to the Place where he had determined that a Passage led towards the Depths. To our Consternation, some Bruit of Conviviality could be heard from this Direction.
Going cautiously ahead and employing his Skills as a Journal Correspondent once more to spy upon a Room to one Side of the Passage, Mr. Darkin beckoned us forward, advising Caution by means of further Hand Signals. Taking heed, we all passed surreptitiously, noting that what we had heard was some Brute of a Watchman – and his five like Fellows, Pasteboard Sportsmen all.
At no great Distance further within, we were brought up short by a Grille, locked and warded, it would seem, against whatever lay beyond. With Caution and a modicum of Oil, we were able to pass this Obstacle and trespass further, pushing the Gate to once more behind us, and so we descended to the lower Level.
Here we came upon more Gates, and slow progress was made in passing them, for each required careful inspection. The Result of this Inspection was perturbing, for each betrayed Indications that they were not intended to keep Intruders out, so much as to keep… Something… in.
Passing the first Junction we entered what after a little Cogitation we perceived to be a circular Passageway. Although we traversed little of it, it was plain that it was the outer Ring surrounding the Star of David on the Builder’s Plans. Across the Passageway, a Door led further within, and it might be assumed that this represented one Point of the Star. With care we inspected this Portal and it appeared to be innocuous, though likewise warded against what might be within. A ceremonial Key hung hard by, and I turned it with a Sense of great Satisfaction.
The Door opened upon a small, constrictive Passage and almost immediately upon another Door. This Door betrayed Hints of Deception, and so we retreated to the circular Corridor. Passing Widdershins, we came to another inner Door similar to the first. Passing beyond this Door with a similar Key, and a similar Sense of Well-being, we came once more upon a small Passage and another Door.
By the Nature of our Investigations, coming thus far was no swift Progress, and while we made cautious Progress with the inner Doors, some of our Party passed a little further on and discovered an outer Door, breaking the outer Wall of the Circle. Looking beyond it, they called for our Attention.
A most extraordinary Sight met our Eyes. Row after Row of great Statues marched away from us into the Gloom, each of martial Aspect and lacking only a singular Feature – the Tops of their Heads!
The well-educated will recognise instantly the Description of the Golem, a mighty creature of Hebraic Legend, Clay brought to Life by a Chem, or written Spell, placed in its Head. A Gross in all filled a Part of the Cavern, and Tools and Materials – Chalk, rather than Clay – for creating more were discovered in a large side Chamber. A Search for written Materials located none. Before the silent but threatening Creatures, a Stairway full as wide as the Room led upward toward the Surface.
A Decision was made to set Charges among the Golems, and to continue our inward exploration. Scarcely had we done so, however, when we heard the Sound of Watchmen descending from the Direction of our only sure Exit.
We have no Knowledge of what brought them to investigate – perhaps the Grille had swung open in our absence? – but here they were, and despite stealthy Caution on our Part it was only a matter of Moments before some Movement gave our Presence away, bringing their Fury down upon us in the Form of Blunderbuss-Shot.
Fortunately none were struck, but Retreat became at once an urgent Consideration. Leaving the Watchmen cowering by the Entrance and waiting for a Chance to fire into the Dark at our Movements, we retired to the Golem Room. Climbing the Stairway, it came to a Halt in Roots and Earth.
Setting the third Charge here, we left the Corridor Door ajar and went into the side Workshop. Mr. Darkin lit the Fuse and hurriedly joined us. A great Explosion soon took place, and had it not been for some Chaperone of Providence, we should have been quite discommoded by it. As it was, we were little daunted and were able to sally forth immediately, although we must needs take care to breathe through our Kerchiefs, the Air was so thick with Dust.
The greater part of our Band exited straightway through the new Portal opened by our Blast, to secure the Opening. Meanwhile, Mr. Darkin prepared the remaining and greater Charges, lit the Fuses and joined us. Led by Mr. Arrows, we darted quickly through the Night towards the outer Wall of the Grounds.
The Disturbance had already attracted the Attention of the Neighbourhood and a further, and greater Blast mere Moments later did little to assuage Peoples’ Interest. Hid close by the Gate, we could hear the Clatter of the Gawpers:
“Mrs. Lewson, I do declare, did you ever see or hear such a Thing?”
“I did not! I shall remember it if I live to a Hundred!”At that Moment, Mr. Arrows drew attention by his Gestures to the Size of the Pillar of Smoke and Chalk Dust arising from the Hole we had vacated; and by some great and fortunate Chance at that Instant it reached its Zenith, and collapsed into a thick Mist that neatly filled all the Grounds from Wall to Wall. This caused considerable Confusion and Fear among those who had been clamouring to get in, and in the Disorder we discreetly made our Exit.
A meditation by Mr Solomon ben Ezra
Regarding the White City
Once more I am indebted to my Comrades, Baron von Stossenkopf and Captain Uffingham for their excellent and timely Accounts of our recent mutual Venture, which led us to the “White City” and caused us to witness the destruction of the Tunnel we had lately discovered by a Troop of the King’s Grenadiers. Their attention to Narrative relieves me of the Necessity to essay the same. I have pondered long upon the Significance of all that we saw in the White City and I offer instead something of a Commentary. At Present most of what I say is but Speculation, but I lay it before Members of the Society for their Interest and in the Hope of stimulating Debate.
It is my Speculation that the White City is an Iconic Realm representing an Aspect of the City of London – a Place of Great Power. Significant Events that take place there will reverberate in our own London. I have observed, first hand, that Magic functions more effectively in that Realm, so a Practitioner of the Philosophy might accomplish Feats that were difficult or even impossible in our Realm. Moreover, Paraphernalia transported from that Realm into ours will retain their Iconic Significance.
One may surmise the generality of what the Masons sought in the White City. Aside from the Attributes I outline above, the Grandeur, the Perfect Lines and Proportions of the White City clearly chime with their Philosophy of “True Measure”. Whether they sought to wreak some Great Magic, loot the Stone for their “Temple”, or simply survey the Great Buildings to inform their Architectures we cannot say. I think they had but begun their Exploration of the White City when the Wolves expelled them and the Grenadiers prevented their Return.
This was not my first Encounter with Alice Hardgreave and the Wolves (See Society Transactions, Item Nº 110 – also Diary entries by Milord Foppingham and the Baron from the same period). I first made Acquaintance with Mistress Hardgreave when investigating those Werewolves that served Serious Wakefield. Our Relations were cordial enough – as well they might be since my Efforts were very much to her Advantage. Even so she was most Adamant that should I attempt to pierce her Wards and stray into the Realm she guarded, she would accord me no Regard or Mercy on Account of our Acquaintance or my Service.
I note the chafing of Captain Uffingham against her Manner of Address and her Threats. She is indeed Rough and Forthright in her Adjurations. No Man delights in receiving Threats, yet I remind myself that though she may take the form of a Lady, she retains the Spirit of the Wolf. Is it not in the Nature of the Wolf to growl and snarl – or indeed, as your own Folktale (that features three of those unclean Creatures that Gentiles consume under so many Guises) would have it, to huff and to puff? In any Event, it is not the Habit of my People to take Umbrage at mere Words – did we do so there would be precious Few of us still in this World, and that Tiny Band forever awrath and fuming at their fellow Man.
Moreover, having seen the White City I find myself somewhat in Sympathy with her Mission (if not her avowed Keenness to consume my Liver). The Splendour, Richness, Order and Sterility; the Prominence awarded the Goldsmith’s Hall; above all the Golden Calf – abhorred in equal Measure by your Faith and mine – in St. Paul’s; all these point to an Aspect of London ruled by Mammon. The starving, desperate Inhabitants, who would rip the dead Skin from a Mechanical Dog to consume it – are they analogue for the Materially Destitute of our city, or perhaps the Spiritually Poor who live their Lives for Profit in Despite of their fellow Men? I for one would not welcome such Influences permeating our Society more than is currently the Case. I can readily see that too much Converse between that Realm and our own would have that inevitable Effect.
I have another Concern. Philosophers understand that periodically the World as we know it has been subject to Great Changes. These Pragmaclastic Events are usually Related to the Manifestation of Powerful Magics – whether due to direct Outcomes or perhaps Divine Intervention to mitigate Damage and restore Balance to His Creation. I believe that such gross Variations in the Fabric of Reality may be also reversed. I ask the Reader to consider the Metaphor of a great River, with many Channels. If a Channel should be blocked, another Channel will readily carry the River in its Stead. The empty Channel, nevertheless, remains and may be filled once more, should the Vagaries of the swirling Eddies dictate.
The most recent such Pragmaclastic Event led to the Fall of the Phanaticks in England and a Great Change in History. The Golden Calf was much associated with their Day. It is not my Thesis that the White City is itself the lost Past of the Phanaticks. I believe that as an iconic Realm, it must have more permanence than the shifting Channels of the Past and Present. To extend the Analogy, one might see it as a Rock between the Channels, common to both but part of neither. However, tampering with it, might well wreak great Influence upon the Flow of the River, opening new Channels, closing old.
I believe that Alice Hardgreave and her Kin may be there to prevent some such Occurrence. Whether she is specifically tasked with preventing the Return of the World of the Golden Calf and the Phanaticks, or has a more general Mission to maintain the Status Quo, I cannot say. Her Gravestone, to be found in the Graveyard of the Haunted Tabernacle, makes Mention of a “Green-Christ”, which I might speculate was the Name by which your Religion was known in the Age of the Phanaticks. This might support the former Hypothesis. As to who has set her to this Task, again I know not, but it is a mighty intriguing Question.
Whatever the Motivation of Alice Hardgreave, I might postulate that the Risk to our World from the White City may be greater than just the return of the Age of the Phanaticks, undesirable as that might be to modern Thinkers. For was not the first, great Pragmaclastic Event, the Destruction, by our LORD, of the First Creation and its banishment to another Place? I note that the Cessation of the particular Interest in our World recently displayed by the Denizens of the First Creation, dates from roughly the Time that the Masons’ Plans were thwarted by the Dispersal of their Expedition by the Wolves, and our near contemporaneous Assault upon the Elder Distillery. I speculate that the Geburith squinting out at us from Puddles and Mirrors across our City with such an Air of Anticipation, perhaps saw Opportunity in the Antics of the Masons, for their own Agenda, viz. Revenge upon the envied Second Creation and Dominion over it.
In Sum, Alice Hardgreave and her Kin have performed a valuable Service for us all in dispersing the Masonic Expedition to the White City. I may bridle at her Threats, and the Constraints she lays upon my Philosopher’s natural Curiosity. However, I must concede that she has the Right of it and that it is not Mete for Men of our World to tinker with the Realm she Guards.
While it is not, in any Event, for me to pass Comment upon the Actions of the Crown, I confess that I am greatly cheered that the King’s Advisors have kept themselves so abreast of Matters and have taken such wise and decisive Measures to prevent a re-occurrence of the Masonic Encroachment into the White City. It is not difficult to see the Royal Interest in fending against the Return of the notoriously Republican Phanatick Age.
Nota Bene : In the interests of Clarity for those who follow the Business of the Society closely, I must point out some minor Errata in the Baron’s Account, for which I heartily hope he will forgive me.
Item One is the Reference to Thos Stothard as an Associate of the “Ditch Ale Brewery”. Allow me to reassure those shocked by the apparent Perfidy of an Enterprise only recently the Beneficiary of Society Redress, and whose good, honest Ales bear the Stamp of approval of no lesser Personage than Milord Foppingham. Stothard was the Factotum of the Elder Distillery – a notorious Organ of the Gin Trade.
Item Two is the conflation of St Andrews Church with the “Haunted Tabernacle” – these are entirely different Locations.
Clearly, these Confusions reflect no more than the Baron’s understandable unfamiliarity with our Great City and his relatively recent Induction into our Society.